When I was younger, I had an adult in my life say to me, “You’re a failure. You always were a failure, you’ll always be a failure.” I cannot even express how painful those words were and still are even today! I am in my 40’s and those words affect me emotionally like I just heard them for the first time. I let those words sink into my being to the point where I believed they must be true. I identified with them. It became who I was; a failure. It was easier to believe those words than to believe I was better than that. Once you have those thoughts in your head and you let them take root, it becomes your belief. You believe you must be what you think! It continues to degrade your self-esteem like a festering sore that just won’t go away.
I had the desire to succeed, to do something great with my life. I had dreams when I was young! But whenever I would take a step forward, my own thoughts and beliefs would drag me back. I would start and be passionate about it and then give up. I would go through my whole adult life this way and wonder what was wrong with me!
Why is it that I get excited about something and then just give it up?
I know now, it was because deep down I felt I would fail. Deep down I knew I believed I was a failure so I would give up before I fell on my face. After all, I felt it was much better to say I quit something than to say I failed. Because they said I would always fail I wanted to do everything I could to ensure this person was not right about me, but in doing that I was actually accomplishing nothing.
What I was doing for all those years was believing what a single person in my life said about me, but not believing the One who created me.
God has so much to say about me and who I am. I am created in HIS image (Genesis 1:27). I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). No, I chose to believe the opinion of one person who made an insensitive comment when I was young but not believe God. God did not create me to fail. But in listening to people and not God, I was in fact failing because I wasn’t being all that God created me to be. I wasn’t living the life God intended.
I was quitting things before I could fail and in doing so, ensured failure.
It was then I realized that I was not living a life that was committed to God and His Word. I was merely involved. I was involved in church, I was involved in reading the Bible..but not fully committed. Because if I was fully committed, then people would not control what I said or did. People would not be able to make me feel like I was less than what God says I am. People could not make me fearful because God says “Fear not…!” I was just going through the motions of being a believer but not committed. I am committed to my marriage and my husband and nothing anyone says would change that relationship I have with him. No one could make me believe anything over what my husband says. I would never be afraid to tell someone I loved my husband. But I was afraid to tell people I loved God because they might think I was some ‘religious fanatic’. I was not committed. I was afraid to step out and boldly live my life in faith because I believed that the person who said I was a failure might be right.
I was believing people over God and that was evidence of my lack of commitment to my faith.
Commitment could be illustrated by looking at a breakfast of bacon and eggs. In this breakfast, the pig was committed, the chicken was merely involved. I was a chicken! I decided the only way to change how I felt about myself was to become so committed to God that I didn’t care what people said or did. I would become so sold out that I would live my life according to what God had planned for me and let His Word lead me, not the words of some insensitive person. It was when I committed to God that my life changed. I have had tremendous success in my life since that time and every day He amazes me more and more! Now I no longer believe I will fail. Now I believe I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me! (Philippians 4:13)
Commit to God and believe what He has to say about you!!
Diane is a wife and mother living in South Florida. She has been actively involved in various ministries for over 15 years. She has dreamed of being a writer since she was old enough to read, and is now living that dream by writing her first novel. In addition to writing, Diane works for a Fortune 500 company and has owned several businesses. She is also a successful public speaker and personal coach.