People ask me how I do it all and the truth is, sometimes I don’t.
Juggling motherhood, ministry, and life in general gets really complex sometimes Things get dropped, left out, and undone. Sometimes it’s really important stuff. A couple of days ago I completely spaced a high priority training call and missed it.
Sometimes it’s pretty frustrating, but I know I’m called to each of these things.
God is telling me not to let go of any of the many hats I wear, so something else has to give.
He calls me to let go of is the energy it takes to beat myself up for not being perfect. I was really mad at myself for missing that call. I sent a couple of quick emails and text messages apologizing to the organizer and another participant and then the hard part. I had to figure out how to apologize to myself and move forward.
My husband and kids will attest this wasn’t easy for me, but they knew it was important! I couldn’t focus on anything else scheduled for that day if I was spending all of my energy being angry with myself.
Some of you guys are in the same place right now and it’s really hard for me to watch you struggle through it.
However, I’m not going to step in and tell you it’s all OK, because it’s important to wrestle through it. The only way to know when it’s time to let go, is to be fully engaged in this struggle with yourself. You have to realize beating yourself up isn’t helping anything. You have to decide when it’s too much.
Some of you are a little shocked reading this. It doesn’t seem like much of a pep-talk. Maybe you don’t need another ‘life is beautiful just look around’ pep-talk. Maybe you are in the middle of something really horrible and life isn’t beautiful or even OK.
Don’t be afraid to acknowledge where you’re at right now. Don’t be ashamed to be in a mess. It happens to everyone, I promise.
I’m not embarrassed to stand in this mess with you and cheer you on, but I’m not going to pull you out. You’ve got to use this mess to identify the line that you never, ever need to cross again. You know the line I mean, right? The line between self-correction and belittling, discipline and abuse, making a mistake and punishing yourself for it.
The more you call it out for what it is, the easier it gets to stay on the healthy side of it.
That line is the difference between loving yourself and loving what you think you could be if you would just get out of your own way. See the difference? It’s all about perception.
So change your perception and stop waiting.
Stop waiting for the struggle to be over to love yourself.
Stop waiting for things to be perfect to smile at your reflection.
Stop waiting for all of the darkness in your life to fade away before moving closer to God.
You are not alone in your struggle!!! God is right next to you, ready to wrap you in His arms.
Please stop waiting to be worthy of His embrace and jump into it! You may leave your struggle with a limp, but you will not leave it alone!