I was walking around my undergraduate alma mater a few months ago. I was there for my sister’s graduation, but I took a few minutes to walk around my old science building. As I walked the near-hallowed halls of Ken Olsen Science Center, I was overcome by how far removed I feel from a place that used to feel so much like home. How many changes have occurred since I graduated three years ago – both in faculty and staff as well as the infrastructure of the building.
As I walked around, I remembered first classes and last classes. Beloved professors and presidents. Botched labs and failed tests. Successful research and fond memories of classes. The cold days and the hard days, the warm days and the easy days.
I’m in the middle of graduate school right now, and it’s amazing to look back and see where I’ve been. It’s hard to believe that three years ago I was graduating on this very lawn. That I had no idea what lie ahead for me, except where I was attending graduate school. I did not know what God had in store for me, and looking back now, I could not have ever guessed that I would be where I am right now: working in a lab on the disease that I have, funded by a group of parents of kids with CF, part of an amazing church where I can serve and grow and love people, where I have the opportunity to babysit some wonderful kids who I can honestly say I love with all of my heart, where a place I knew nothing of and knew no one could feel so much like a home.
It’s true. I’ve lost much, struggled, been frustrated and beaten down in these last three years. I’ve had PICC lines and more antibiotics than I can count, but I’ve come out swinging on the other side. But I’ve also seen God do some amazing things with what I’ve been given and where I’ve been. I have seen him use my CF to change people’s hearts and lives. I have seen God use me in ways I never thought possible – leading a Bible study and leading worship from the piano. He’s provided me with friends who lift me up and encourage me, challenge me and love me. He’s blessed me with so much.
I never saw any of that coming three years ago. All I saw was the great unknown, the strange state of Michigan and the weird mascot of my school – the Spartan. The headache of changing doctors and hospitals and the anxiety of living on my own. I was heartbroken to leave the place where I had grown so much, devastated to leave a church that I had come to love, people I had grown to love as well. I couldn’t see past the here and now, couldn’t see that even as I was leaving a place I knew so well and loved, God had great things planned. He was going before me, preparing a place for me even then. And he was preparing me.
Even now, when the future is unknown and I’m not sure how God is going to work things out, I can trust that He is faithful and that He will go with me, wherever I go. Hindsight may be 20/20, but God’s vision is always 20/20. So no matter what you’re going through right now, no matter what unknown you’re facing, trust in the One who can see it all, who’s got you in His hands, and who will never fail you. His sight is better than hindsight.
***This post originally appeared at allforhimlife.com***
Kristen Entwistle is the blog manager for Broken Beautiful BOLD and is a graduate student pursuing her PhD in biochemistry and molecular biology at Michigan State University. She helps to lead worship at her church on Sunday mornings and leads a women’s Bible study on Saturday mornings. She was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis when she was three months old, and has seen God work through the ups and downs of life and through her disease. In response to God’s calling, Kristen started All For Him, a ministry seeking to encourage and challenge women of all ages in Christ with FREE Bible studies offered throughout the year.
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