Trying to pick a major in college was a pretty difficult thing for me to do. I must have changed my mind a dozen times throughout the process, and even tried my hand at a few careers. I had pretty lofty expectations of how I would feel if it were my calling, and what the outcome should look like. While I did enjoy some of these professions, I still felt something lacking. Here I’d devoted so much time and energy to seek degrees and establish careers, yet after the newness inevitably wore off, I’d be in the same position and wondering where I went wrong- AGAIN?
In the throes of my 3rd profession and having just had my second child, suddenly my world came crashing down.
I hadn’t realized just how much I was neglecting my calling to be a godly wife, and before I knew it, I was a separated.
This was one of the most difficult periods of time in my life. Each day was a struggle to make it through and the pain was unbearable at times. I felt like a failure, and so terribly lonely as well. I swirled with regret and brokenness daily.
I was fortunate to have a few godly girlfriends who pursued me and encouraged me to look up, to seek my relationship with Jesus further, and as I walked with him I’d find my purpose, I’d find his will for my life.
Getting out of that dark hole and seeking my purpose in life was a process.
I had Proverbs 3 verses 5-6 etched permanently in my conscious, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
As I trusted God and submitted every area of my life to the Lord, he led the way. In each interaction and choice in my life I made an effort to seek the Lord first, and with that not only was my marriage saved by the Grace of God, but my calling began to emerge. So on fire was I for the Lord as he mended my brokenness, that I urgently wanted to share his power and mercy and grace with others.
“I am convinced that I will not find
my purpose by seeking purpose,
but I will fulfill my purpose
by seeking Christ”.
– Author Unknown
These days I now write for the Lord on my blog , and also currently co-lead a growing community of women seeking God as they navigate brokenness and broken marriages. Helping others find their way out of the darkness is a passion of mine, and a calling.
“God often uses our deepest pain
as the launching pad for our greatest calling.”
– Author Unknown
If you are reading this and feel lost on what God is calling you to do, don’t fret, you can start today! Stop chasing mirages, and get into God’s word. The Lord gives us instructions for our daily lives and life roles in the Bible, and as we follow and seek him, he will direct our steps right into our callings naturally.