Something cool happened to me last week but I was alone at the time and forgot to write it down. Does that ever happen to you? I wanted to tell someone; now I’ll have to wait and see if, someday, I remember – and if I’m in a situation where I can share the story at that time. So it is, instead, merely a part of my history that, quite possibly, no one will ever share with me.
Of course, there are many times when that’s probably a good thing. Let’s be realistic. Sure, the night I pulled my Stouffer’s out of the oven but hit the edge of the rack, causing the tray of barbecue chicken and potatoes to flip up in the air and land upside down on the oven door might have caused a few chuckles. Once I started cleaning and venting, though, the fun would have been over.
Still, I wish I would stop forgetting some of those funny or sweet or serendipitous moments that might have led to laughs or tears, or simply made someone smile like it did me.
Did you see the moving Shall We Dance? With Richard Gere? He plays a lawyer named John who starts taking dance lessons from Jennifer Lopez. His wife, Beverly (Susan Sarandon), decides to hire a private detective to find out if John is cheating on her. At one point, she asks the detective why he things people get married. His first response: “Passion.” When she says no he turns the question back on her. Beverly replies:
Because we need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet…I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things…all of it, all of the time, every day. You’re saying “Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness.”
As a whole, that movie didn’t stick with me, but that scene did. I don’t like the idea of my life going un-witnessed. But I would guess-timate more than half of it has. Beautiful moments. Sad moments. The good and the bad. The triumphs and the heartaches experienced in the solitude of my home or car.
Yes, I know God sees it all. I really wish I could say that’s enough. It’s what’s expected. Expected by people, yes, but not necessarily by God. In fact, I believe He understands. He understands loneliness and feeling invisible. Boy, does He understand. After He made Adam, it took Him but a moment to realize Adam needed another relationship besides the one he had with God. The man needed a helper, a companion. A witness.
Did God say, “You have Me. That should be enough?” No, He gave Adam a new relationship. And not just any relationship. He gave him a wife.
That’s significant to me. The first relationship God created – besides the one between Him and man – was the marital one. He didn’t give him parents or siblings or a good friend. Well, I guess He did give Adam a good friend. A best friend. And someone who wouldn’t just witness his life but be a participant in it.
So Adam could say, “Do you remember the time…?” and there was someone who might reply, even when she was old and gray, “Yes, love, I remember.” Then she could tell him about those little things he forgot.
Do you have a witness to your life?
This post first appeared on girlsnightin40.com
For most of her life, Sharyn Kopf had a dream: to write sweet little romances or exciting adventures of the heart. Of course, each would be inspired by her own glorious love story! And yet decades skipped by without a romance of her own. She rarely dated. No one kissed her or even held her hand. Turning 40 seemed to not only kill her dreams of marriage and family, but those of being a novelist as well.
Today, Sharyn still longs for her own love story but she’s discovered she’s not alone in the struggle to find balance between contentment and longing. In January, she co-founded GirlsNightIn40.com, a blog for single women. Her first two books — one a novel, the other nonfiction — about surviving singleness after 40 will release this summer. Full of honesty, humor and, yes, a little romance, these books offer encouragement to others going through similar circumstances.
In her spare time, Sharyn plays the piano, makes the best fudge ever, fights against unnecessary uses of the comma, and watches too much HGTV. She lives in Bellefontaine, Ohio, just five minutes from her favorite people in the world — her family.
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